


The One Where Nick Gets Pissed Off By a Guy in a Bar

by SorchaR



Category: Hot Fuzz (2007)
Genre: I fail at titles, M/M, Nick gets aggro, attempted fat-shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-15
Updated: 2012-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-29 13:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorchaR/pseuds/SorchaR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sure way to piss Nick off is to criticize Danny. Written for phosfate - she and my fellow FW mods know why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Nick Gets Pissed Off By a Guy in a Bar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phosfate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phosfate/gifts).



"Suck my metaphorical dick, Kevin."

Danny, just walking up behind Nick with their drinks, is startled and more than a little impressed. Nick's loosened up a lot in the last year or so, but he still doesn't talk like that. He just _doesn't_. "What did you say?"

Nick gestures at the man in front of them, the one who's been hitting on him ever since he and Danny walked into the bar. "I was just suggesting to Kevin, here, that he suck my metaphorical dick. Not my real dick, of course, because I wouldn't want him anywhere near it.  I think I'd have to bleach it afterward and that would hurt." He steps a little closer and addresses Kevin again. "But my metaphorical dick, which is all you're going to get, is quite available."

He turns and kisses Danny - another surprise, because he's quite reserved about public displays of affection. Nothing to do with Danny being another bloke; it's just how he is. "Now, if you'll excuse us, my partner and I have some _actual_ dick-sucking to do. "

Out in the street, Danny says, "You didn't have to do that. You could've just told him no."

"He annoyed me," Nick replies vaguely. "Come on, let's get some beer, go back to the hotel and watch Sherlock Holmes. Original buddy cop story, you know."

Danny grins. "Sounds like a perfect evening."

He doesn't see the need to let Nick know that he heard Kevin's suggestion that Nick "dump Porky and come home with a man who won't smother you in your sleep." Those kinds of remarks don't matter to Danny, after all.

What _does_ matter is that Nick got angry enough on his behalf to actually say something vulgar. It makes him feel all glowy and warm inside.

He decides that tonight, he's going to do everything he can to make Nick feel the same way.


End file.
